The Smiling Guard
OOC nope

Groceries are gone, sad panda. Blowing raspberries on cats bellies, will be worth it to cheer me up.

OOC About yesterday

Right so yesterday I had a little incident, got a buddy I would go into the mountains with. Three years ago he had an accident, while we were up in the mountains. Rock gave way, he got hurt really bad. Broke his spine, had to have a leg amputated. Doctors said he would never walk again, he is proving them wrong though but he can’t be as active as he use to be. His sister blames me for that, he doesn’t though so that is good at least. But yeah she has some mental issues as well, I keep telling her to get some help as she harasses me constantly. I was leaving the grocery store when she came up and started in on me. I was not having a good day so I tore into her as well. Well she ended up pulling a gun on me. 

I kind of messed up though by mocking her, I don’t make the best decisions even at the best of times. I started tearing into her, I wasn’t yelling or screaming or anything like that. When I’m angry I tend to speak very softly in a calm sounding voice. I had her in tears after only a few minutes, the police had shown up and were trying to talk to her but she was only paying attention to me.

I asked her if she was on her meds, she said she hadn’t been taking them as of late. Didn’t think she needed them, I asked her how her brother was doing. She said she didn’t know she hadn’t spoken to him in a while, I suggested that we do that. That we just take a moment, calm down. I apologized to her for what I said, I told her I was having a bad day. She calmed down long enough for me to take the gun away from her, I’m not pressing charges but in exchange for this she is going to be committed for a while. I don’t blame her, she has problems and she needs help. 

I went home after talking to the cops and had a bowl of cereal. That is how I deal with near death experiences. I have cereal, and only now do I realize that I left my groceries at the store… Just hit me, I gotta go see if it is still there.


Luna: Perhaps I need to have a word with him…

((Thanks for over 260 followers! There’s a list of everyone included here! And feel free to message me if you would like me to send you your individual pony! Just make sure your submit box is open.))

I think Coffee Talk is staring at my butt. 

((Also manly squee!))

IC post and more backlog questions answered tomorrow

Bit of a heads up, expect it tomorrow. Also I notice I have over 200 followers now, I don’t count the anime hentai followers though. So might be doing something for that, just need some time to relax let things sink in. Bit of a bad day today, not car breaking down or illness bad but gun pointed at me by somebody that wanted me dead bad. Talk more about it later, peace out.))

Merri reacts: The latest novel by Velvet Fetlocks, pen name of Prince Butters. Super sappy and highly salacious novels read by bored house mares.




Merri:  *taking the book from China Saucer*  ”What did I tell you about this sort of stuff?  This is a family restaurant.  Read it on your own time.”

China:  ”Oh come on!  I was just at the good part!  Baron Flaxen Mane had finally gotten to—”

Merri:  ”Hey, spoilers!”

China:  *goading*  ”Waaaaaait… what?”

Merri:  *suddenly stone faced*  ”Get back to work.”

If you want an autograph, remember that Prince Butters has a unique style when it comes to autographs.



And all was good.

You do not mess with my boy Butters. Butters is my buddy! My bro! Going to take him to Las Pegasus paint the town red! Make the Hangover look like a tea party. We might even be able to get Blueblood laid.

The key, the end game. If a shard were to acquire it, would the key gather the broken to make them whole once more?

The key can be replicated, but it will never hold the power that the original had. No, it would be just an empty shell. The fragments are few now, less than a dozen remain now. The key can still activate the Faust Engine, so there is that but it will not hold the power it once did. For that, it requires the infusion of energy from the one Smiling use to serve. There is a plan though to make Smiling whole again. But that would require the destruction of Equestria.

Jack: you smile all the time, yet no one see's your face.... i wanna see your face amigo

A few have, it is nothing special really. Besides what is a face? I’m not winning any beauty pagents, so why the interest in seeing this ugly mug?

My apologizes for intruding and I hope I'm not a bother, but would you like some help? Nopony can deal with everything by themselves. That's why we have friends. Can I be your friend? I'd really like to be.

No need to apologize, and it is not a bother either. I get lonely from time to time, but then I remember that I’ve been alone always. There are many magics in this world, but the one of friendship I highly doubt I will ever know. But I will not fault you for trying, although a word of caution. Some things just shouldn’t be attempted, that word of warning goes out to those lovable scamps the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Seriously who thinks they will get their Cutie Mark from trying to bum rush an eldritch memory fragment of a living shadow?

Seek the real Celestia, the wise, powerful and kind one. She might know how to help.

I thought it was quite clear, I hate Celestia… I hate her with every fiber of my being, every fragment of Smiling hates her. I, Memory, hate her, and I’m mostly a collection of memories of Smiling but I have developed my own self. She is the one that started it all, she killed her sister my Princess Luna… She defamed her name creating the Nightmare Moon story, she craves attention. She wants everybody to love her and only her, there can be no other that gets the same amount of attention as her. She even creates other alicorn’s to make herself look better! Who knows who the poor pony was before she was transformed into this new Luna just to appease her own guilty conscience. I hate her… I hate her for what she did to Princess Luna. I hate her for what she did to the Night Guard, changing them into the Dusk Guard until ponies forgot. 

I hate her for sending two green recruits with a moron who only got promoted because his daddy was a General to come find me after I went off to find the truth. I hate her for allowing that easily spooked untrained moron to carry a bloody weapon he had no right to hold! I hate her for not doing anything about the treasonous Captain of the Guard who started a war with my group! A unicorn who didn’t believe in taking prisoners, who felt that obtaining information at any cost was top priority and that after getting his information disposes of the one that just gave them the information! I hate her for not following up on what that sociopath did to the orders of dealing with me! Denying me medical care, food, even adding special wards to my cell to cause me unending pain and torment! That is why no one was allowed in my cell, I didn’t want them to suffer! If it was messing Smiling up the way his nerve dead body was it would have probably killed a normal pony! That or crippled them for life! 

I hate her for what she did, I hate her for what I have done, I hate her because that is all that I have left anymore… My hatred…

Existence is a stern, clever tyrant. An unalienable ruler that is backed by the mere presence of an alternative. Once somethings slips from existence, it joins the infinitely spanning array of things residing in non-existence. Non-existence, the only alternative to existence, and it only "IS" by proxy of observance, something embedded solely by existence. Until there is a non-existent observer, what you had once intended to do would be impossible. Theoretical science!

Existence is something, I planned to take that something and return it to a state of nothing. You see there has always been and always will be nothing, but nothing strives. It desires, it yearns to be something. It starts off small, an idea, inspiration, the big bang. The complete and utter destruction of Equestria has already happened before, three times in fact. Of course there are always echos, left overs, that missing left sock from the laundry. Sometimes it last a while, other times it doesn’t. What matters is that something becomes nothing. Existence becomes non existence. The dice is rolled and we see what we come up with again, all we can do is pray we don’t get another 3rd Generation. So I admit it wouldn’t have lasted for very long, but it would have happened. I would have won… And maybe, just maybe in the next iteration… I could have said no at the bottom of that chasm instead of yes.

Be a hero; not the stupid kind, but someone that is admired and respected, who put others before himself, who does good even when it isn't the easiest way out... I could go on, but i trust you deep down know right from wrong in spite of the attempts by the shadows to corrupt you.

It has been far too long for that to happen, I have fallen too far. There is no light at the end of the tunnel anymore. There is no other path for me than the one I have set before me. Besides, a hero is nothing but a fool. A hero will stop to help a single old man instead of stopping the world from ending. Heroes are fools of the highest calibur, what the world needs is cold, calculate bastards.


Ah the crystals had been found, the beast Rot sheds them and he has a few places where he rubs them off. A lucky pegasi found the spot next to a cliff, the ponies had the means now to power the floating island. But the problem now was how were they going to make all these little crystals into one big crystal? Why the answer is easy, earth pony magic. Earth ponies are naturally very strong, they also have a bit of their own magic. They are able to feel the frequency of the earth and stones, a few taps and a well trained ear can listen to rhythm of the stone or the earth. Then it is all about hitting that sweet spot, some ponies are able to shatter boulders with one well placed hit. It is all about the precision of the strike as well as the rhythm of the stone. Think of it as a tuning fork if you will, the earth ponies were able to get the crystal fragments to vibrate to the point that unicorns could melt them together with their magic. So small became large, large became huge and huge became the heart of Cloudlantis. 

Everything was going fine, the pony tribes had done what so many others had tried to do. They conquered the beast Rot in their own way, of course it helped that they learned from others who tried. Dragons, gryphons, even zebra had tried to get the beast Rot to do as they pleased at some point. But violence begat violence, and it was the zebras who learned that a minor inconvenience could dissuade Rot. Waving a few thorn bushes got him to change direction, keeping him from trampling crops. Offerings of honey kept him from napping in their towns and roads. A simple bop on the nose, it was a dare from a bunch of teens, was enough to confuse him when he was getting angry. Though in all honesty I’m not sure why I am telling you all the history of this place. It has fallen from memory, barely even a foalhood story these days. All it took was one greedy pony to ruin it for everyone else, just one greedy pony to ruin it all.

One greedy pony to take over the command center, one greedy pony to lift it into the sky before the agreed upon time. One greedy pony to sow the seeds of distrust, one stupid pony to take the island to outer most reaches of the atmosphere where gravity hangs onto the island by just the tips of its fingers. One stupid pony to activate the cloaking device that shows what is above on the bottom of the island. One stupid pony to realize that up so high it is ever so cold and there isn’t that much oxygen. One stupid greedy pony soul… to trade to Death herself for a favor. A case of nature versus nurture, I wonder… if they had had a different upbringing would they have become the terrible ponies that they were? One stupid greedy pony soul that has managed to hide from Death for so long. Though of course this brings up a problem, do I go with both of my plans at the same time or do one first then the other?

If I do both at the same time one plan will be cut short and I’ll never get to see the battle between nature vs nurture. If I do the one plan first then wait then Smiling will have to wait to be made whole again. Of course if I do as planned to make him whole this world will suffer greatly. Oh that’s right I never did tell you what I had planned for this ancient island. I’m going to crash it into the mountains in the Badlands where the Faust Engine is. The resulting explosion will of course kick decimate the entire planet but the magic released from the destruction of the Faust Engine will give Smiling the power he needs to pull himself together. 

15 on the quiz.

What makes Smiling angry, quite a few things actually. You would never know it though, he is the implosive type of angry. Everything gets bottled up until that point it erupts like a volcano. Smiling gets angry when things don’t go as planned, he gets angry when his plans get derailed by others. He gets angry when others don’t smile. He gets angry when others can’t see the obvious truth even when it is staring them in the eyes. He gets angry about the lack of attention his parents gave him. Seriously after his ‘passing’ they visited his grave only once, and that was at his funeral. His sister however would always light a little candle on a tiny boat and let it float down the river. 

Smiling gets very angry when others steal from him, that really gets his blood boiling. He also gets angry when others do stupid things, when they don’t measure up to their potential. It is such a waste, this of course is rather vague. He also gets mad when others that he is judging don’t meet his standards, again kind of vague. But the twins Black Egg and White Snow found that out the hard way, as did others whose names have been forgotten. Oh and the continued existence of the kelpies infuriates Smiling.


Has Smiling ever killed, yes. Yes he has. He has killed ponies, gryphons, dragons, coatl, kelpies, chimeras, cockatrices, monsters, changelings, things that don’t even have names. His history is a long and bloody one, but each death had a reason. Each taking of a life had a reason, mindless slaughter is just… well it is stupid and low brow.