The Smiling Guard

asksweetcream:

thetalesofwildcard:

I really hate doing anything like this, but I’m panicking a bit. I wouldn’t be doing this unless I was at the end of my rope here.

I ended up having to dump a large amount of money to satisfy a debt collection agency today and it’s knocked me a bit below water. I have a job now but I don’t make…

I dont normally reblog these things but I can speak to the trust that this isnt a frivolous want like to many others trying to take advantage of doing things they dont need in the first place and asking for handouts for it. Nick is a good guy and my bestie. I wish he could make it to Bronycon too but life is troublesome sometimes. Enough to tide one over is all he ever asks and if he could do it out of his own accord he’d never be posting this. If you feel to do so. Please throw a few his way.

What began as a careless doodle style experiment kind of turned into this.  I’ve gotta admit I really like the questions you’ve posed to other blogs, they’re always smart or entertaining.
I don’t really have context for this, only that I’m pretty certain that despite the fact me mod persona and your oc are faceless entities it doesn’t mean they’ll get along at all.

What began as a careless doodle style experiment kind of turned into this.  I’ve gotta admit I really like the questions you’ve posed to other blogs, they’re always smart or entertaining.

I don’t really have context for this, only that I’m pretty certain that despite the fact me mod persona and your oc are faceless entities it doesn’t mean they’ll get along at all.

Pony Shaming

Smiling: Before I was captured I would raid the royal pantry and leave Celestia’s cream for her coffee sitting out so it would spoil.

Memory: I like to watch ponies sleep, all of them…

Annalise: I found Westwood passed out after a Hearth’s Warming Eve party and I touched his butt! 

Mr. Narrator here, suffering from one of my rapid mood swings. Think of a metronome on speed, pondering and thinking away the day. Realizing how vague I tend to be, it is time to hammer out something. This gif here, is very close to what this blog is all about. The story of Smiling and of Memory, is about giving up. There is no hope for Smiling, and Memory denies any connection to the world. They are both alone, they would like companionship but neither is sure how friendship works. Smiling before his fall had no real friends, he had work pals. He would never meet or socialize with anyone outside of work. 

Memory is literally just a collection of bad memories and emotions, he doesn’t want to try to feel good because he feels if he did realize just how miserable he is he would end up snapping. The only ponies that they feel like they could have any form of friendship with is each other which is why Memory is trying to make Smiling whole again. That is why he claimed Cloudlantis for himself, it is an unknown place that Smiling could hide at in self imposed exile but still be near Memory. Sure they have concern for others, but that just falls back to their old life. Being a guard they were concerned about the safety of others, the happiness of the other guards was also a great concern.

If they were sad or mad that could affect their performance, if they were distracted ponies could get hurt or die. So he wanted others to smile, his own smile was infectious. By smiling the face sent signals to the brain to be happy, but the sad thing is Smiling’s smile is fake. He was never very happy, nor was he depressed he was just… numb. Neither Smiling nor Memory have any real plans beyond watching the world. They will offer a little advice, watch the life go by but other than that they have nothing. They don’t see themselves as part of this world or even something worth being a part of it. Smiling feels his past crimes have made him beyond redemption, Memory just doesn’t care. All he cares about is passing the time and keeping himself entertained thus he loses himself in the internet. 

shinyshaini:

asktechnowizard:

I swear at some point this visual gag will stop being funny.

Not this day.

*krnch krnch krnch krnch*

mini-grey:

'Nyaaah! Don't sneak up on me like that! The last time I was in here, I was mistaken for an actual pair of undies!' T 3 T

And that, my dear new followers, is the niveau this blog will continue on.

Memory: Insane, random, cute things. These are what make me smile, this is what keeps me from going nuts and slaughtering everything. Although there are a few that I should probably eliminate, just to improve the villain gene pool. 

A day in the life of Prince Butters Part Two

It is almost time for a healthy lunch, eaten off the very clean floor. The menu calls for soup today, which is extra sloppy and will mean a light shower after rolling in the soup. When will they learn that soup is best eaten through osmosis? But something is amiss, there is a presence that the Prince has not felt since… Behold his arch nemesis, not the despicable Anon who recently was used as a blunt instrument to shatter another mirror. No, this enemy is far floofier and pinker… It is none other than the FLUFFLE PUFF! So it has come to this, she has invaded the castle itself to settle their ancient feud.

PPPFBBLBL! Blblllbl! Pfffbbl! *GASP* Pffft!

BARF! BARK! BARF! BARK! BARF! BARK! GROWL!

ROUND ONE! FIGHT!

Fluffle Puff begins the round leaping into the air and hurling pink throwing stars at Butters. Butters counters by pulling a giant acorn from behind his back to block the throwing stars. It vanishes as he puts it behind his back and he lunges forward with a flying kick. Fluffle Puff gasps and dissolves into a puddle of pink fur that slides under Butters. Popping up she speaks, “Pbbblt pffft pbllblt pbblt.” (Translation: You are already defeated.) Channeling the power of the ‘Fist of the North Star’ her hooves become a blurred motion of pummeling power! Butters is powerless to stop this onslaught and falls with a loud GRRRNNNNNF! 

Round Two! FIGHT! Butters starts off strong this round with a super sonic bark attack that stuns Fluffle Puff. He follows this up with an Anon Smash right on the top of her head. Fluffle Puff attempts to dodge by becoming liquid floof again but Butters leaps away as she reforms. He lets loose another bark which Fluffle Puff avoids by ducking her head in her own fluff. She charges forward to ram Butters but he flips over her grabbing her and tossing her into the air, “BARF BARK!” (Translation: BUT IT WAS ME DIO!) Time stops for all but Prince Butters as he begins to hurl hundreds of acorns at Fluffle Puff! BARKBARKBARKBARKBARK! Time starts up again as Fluffle Puff is pummeled by hundreds of acorns. She falls to the ground alone, Butters is no where to be seen except for a growing shadow on top of Fluffle Puff. A moment later she is squished by a giant acorn with Butters standing atop it. “WRRRYYYY!” He cries as he throws his front hooves up in the air.

Round Three! FIGHT!

The final round, it all ends here! A crowd has gathered to watch this battle, the cheers grow louder! Bets are wagered, Equestria trembles as these two power houses go at it! THE APOCALYPSE IS NEIGH! REPENT YE SINNERS!!! NO BACK OFF I’M DOING GOOD! *Sounds of a struggle.* Right! Timothy here, that blasted Anon got out of the Time Out Box again. Okay so back on track here ponies, yes Fluffle Puff and Butters are fighting but nothing quite like what is going on. It is just another slap fight between the two, in fact going to take care of that right now.

Pointing to the left the memory fragment Timothy shouts, “SQUIRREL!” While simultaneously he throws a Chrysalis plushie to the right. Both combatants chase after the distraction, the fight broken up peace and quiet returns to the castle. That is until Arrowhead starts teasing the inmates again and they start a riot. 

Oh the thing with the soup, that is true. 

Now I want to see a picture of Lolo reacting to Rusty's post.
sapphire-and-greyzeek:

Chapter II - Page 2

Bit of advertising, look at this floofy fool! FLOOF! And what a smile… I can’t wait to see more of his antics you should check him out as well.

sapphire-and-greyzeek:

Chapter II - Page 2

Bit of advertising, look at this floofy fool! FLOOF! And what a smile… I can’t wait to see more of his antics you should check him out as well.

storiesfromthefront:

My surgery date got moved up! TO NOW. Catch you folks on the flip side. Hopefully I’ll come out better than I went in

Sev is going in for surgery, wish him good luck. Oh and video games are not a proper substitute for pain killers.))

storiesfromthefront:

My surgery date got moved up! TO NOW. Catch you folks on the flip side. Hopefully I’ll come out better than I went in

Sev is going in for surgery, wish him good luck. Oh and video games are not a proper substitute for pain killers.))

twisted-gravekeeper:

image

No you aren’t, we just installed a stripper pole.

image

You’re right

He wraps those hands around that pole, he licks his lips nice and slow this is porn star dancing! It is fun the madness one can induce with a single remark.

butters-the-alicorn:

askthenightguards:

Your Royal Carriage will be ready soon, your Royal Highness (Adorable Luna Art blog). I am concerned about your obsession with butts, shootingstarsafterdark and adurot, (Awesome mod blogs, with much butts, may be NSFW) but no matter. We must attend to a complaint from Miss Skye Gazer (Adorable ask blog) regarding the entity known as Ween (Awesome ask blog, may be NSFW) and His Royal Highness Sir Reginald Butterscop Pendragin IV Jr. (Silly ask blog)

(( Awesome posters from awesome people: PixelKittiesEchoFireBugDr. Adorablemittymandi , annnnnnd hbreckel! ))

Not always do Butters’ play dates work just right. Maybe there should be some kind of screening to pick proper play mates instead of just throwing him at the first and best pony showing up.

Hmmm.

Nah. The crazy ones are the only ones voluntary.

It would appear that Timothy is going to need to rescue Butters and Ween. Yes the Smiling Fragment that hangs out with Butters has gotten a name, Timothy. It is cannon, better hurry before those two get sat on.

storiesfromthefront:

Soonest surgery opening is the 10th. I’m probably going to miss bronycon.

This sucks, send some love Sev’s way with words of support. Blog is NSFW but he has a link to the SFW version and mod blog on top.))

A day in the life of Prince Reginald Butterscop Pendragon

This is the record of an average day with Prince Butters as watched by his shadow, Smiling Fragment. The morning starts bright and early just before the sun rise as the young Prince heads out to greet the new day. And by greet we mean barking at Princess Luna and Celestia as they lower slash raise the moon and sun. After twelve full minutes of barking it is back to bed to sleep in. Royalty needs its beauty sleep after all, plus the barking does inform the Princesses of what they are doing wrong. Like getting that ray of sun light hit him in the face every morning! 

After waking up for the second time it is time for a nutritious and delicious meal eaten off the very clean floors. The maids such as Atjour do an excellent job of keeping the palace clean. This is the reason the floors are so clean you can eat off of them. After a hearty breakfast it is time to address the adoring subjects, time for a royal proclamation! A few citizens are rounded up to watch some enthusiastic butt wriggling, barking, but thankfully this time not an unconscious pudgy guard. Now for the daily rounds around the castle to ensure that the staff is doing their jobs dutifully. This involves running around the castle grounds at top speeds barking loudly. 

With the castle in order it is time to check on some of the more notable residents of the castle. Starting with Prince Blue Blood, time to raid his gangsta gear then go for a ride in his low rider chariot. All the while Prince Blue Blood very loudly and very annoyingly proclaims that he is the Gangsta OG not Butters. After some time spent cruising it is now time for a light snack. Nothing like some acorn butter sandwiches to tide him over, now it is time to go to the special writing room to play with the various acorn toys he has behind the clickety click machine where his friend likes to make the clicking noises. After the games are done and enough clicking is done it is time for lunch! Stay tuned for the rest of the day! Mr. Narrator has an ear infection and it started throbbing.

butters-the-alicorn:

Well, ran out of prom for Butters, so let’s get back to the regular show. Nothing interesting going on, I see. Just typical

Anon… where go… Find you soon… enough… Smell your fear…